You go and pick out a puppy, you love him you carry him, you buy him chew toys, you brush him and laugh at his antics. You assume that he will love you back and be your faithful companion and never leave your side, correct? WRONG - you force him to stay by your side by putting a giant collar with a walkie talkie attached that tells the street he's coming and electrocutes him.
I expect to hear from CNN or Dateline or even Geraldo Rivera for an expose of this abhorrent treatment of "Mans Best Friend".
If you are truly scared that you have not treated your pet well enough and he may run off to live with a much kinder and more generous with their bacon human there are more humane steps you can take:
- Bacon
- Never Stop patting your dog (why would you anyway?)
- Bacon
- Stop worrying about your shoes - it's really selfish of you
- Bacon
- Couch - You claim to love your dog but clearly you love your couch more (shame on you)
- Bacon
If you are still confused, please look up sharing and bacon on the computer and put the two together. I promise you if there is enough bacon, I'm not going anywhere.
